he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
