If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I hate all girls vehemently.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
