HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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