I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize