But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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