I skipped work to stalk him.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Randomize