You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
