i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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