its not stalking. its research.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
