Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
