Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize