It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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