bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
