Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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