I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
