it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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