8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
