And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
