I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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