I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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