Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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