Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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