she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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