I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
