sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize