i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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