you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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