come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
