well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
