What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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