i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
