I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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