Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
