he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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