i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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