I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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