Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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