she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
