Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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