Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
