Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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