This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
