Can Purell be used as lube?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
