does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
