You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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