Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
