is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
