I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
