Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize