Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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