How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
