Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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