Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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