I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
