Non-Jews are for practice
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
