My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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