Midget sex pt 2 tonight
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
