We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
