u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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