My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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