i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
