Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
