I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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