Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
